CollegeYouBarelyKnowOf in MyGodWhereIsThisPlace is has a tenure track opening for this coming year. Candidates working on LeftyHip research are especially encouraged to apply.
The teaching load is 2/3, consisting of 3 new preps a year, and 2 co-taught introductory classes with a team of OCD senior professors. Candidates must demonstrate an enthusiasm for teaching, stand-up comedy, and counseling. Skills at baking cookies and making party decorations for our frequent student centric events are a plus. Our curriculum is rigorous (we even offer some quantitative courses), and we expect faculty to maintain the appearance of high standards while making the course work as easy as possible. Our generous teaching support includes 0 graders per course and one peer tutor who will give your students the homework answers.
Our community is politically active. You will be expected to cancel classes and reschedule tests whenever there is an incident that causes students to rally or protest. While this usually happens about 3 times a year, this number has tripled since the election. Faculty are also expected to be understanding of our 80% of students with mental health problems, and ensure they get an easy A so they don't, you know.
Research funding is generous and will pay for at least one conference every 3 years. Research that engages students is required.
We will be interviewing at the AEA along with a couple of our precocious student. Gifts for them are encouraged.