Which candidate is this, who knows
I know he must be low-ranked though
For him to give his job talk here
The others must've all said no
His little spouse must think it queer
To look for jobs with nothing near
Between the woods and campus lake
Jack s**t for her to do all year
I blurt it out, hey wait, hey wait!
This talk contains a huge mistake!
The candidate begins to weep
There'll be no jobs for him to take
The sobbing goes on long and deep
We'll drink shampaign for sure this week
But I have promises to keep
And two more candidates to fieck
And two more candidates to fieck